Thursday, August 13, 2009


A magnificent country like ours has tons of idiocyncracies (Indo-syncracies, did someone say?). We're a running race (pun!) that does not mind poking fun at ourselves. Otherwise how would humourists from RK Laxman to Anand Ramachandran always have new matter to come up with?

This post is about Indian surnames - and it is not meant to poke fun at any race - I love everyone from enterprising Gujjus to energetic Tams, to sharp Bongs to cunning Marathis. This is just to show you how we are a country of countries. Where a Singh has his palatial estate in Jalandhar, a Nair drives along Marine drive, and the space between them can fit in a few World-Cup winning countries.

Enough senti, enough disclaimers. Let's get right into this, now.

Gujju poet: George Bernard Shah

Mumbai chauffeur : Raju Drivemykar

Mallu skyscraper architect with an ego : IM Iyer

Punjabi Plumber: Fixthekitchen Singh

Telugu Eager Beaver : IM Reddy

Oriya F1 racer : Juan Pablo Mohantoya

Tamil dude who deals with computer momory : Didiarwan Ram

Bong outdoor advertising specialist : Saurav Bannerjee

Mallu schizophrenic guy with two personalities who couldn't be more different : Cheesen Chacko (desperate one this)

Bong dude with tendency for forming wild mobs (no surprise this) : Ganguly

Delhiite who was once a verbal messenger : Goyal

Kannadigas who can be counted on in a tough period : Kamath D Hour, Kamath D Man

Marathi bodybuilder : Kulkarnie

Delhiite who always comes before the storm : Lal

Aloof Parsi fellow : Mistry

Konkani person's autobiography : Life of Pai

UPites who devote 24 hours per week to chewing : Pandey

Generally a scared Mallu : Panicker

Untruthful Mallu : Pillai (but as you can see, he's taking medicines for it)

Gujju with sudden growth from the end of the spine : Patel

1951 novel about Karnataka's outfielders : Catcher in the Rai

UPite who's always able to laugh off his evil doings : Sinha

The tallest Gujju ever : Solanki

Circumspect Bengali due to imminent earthquake : Abhishek Tiwary

Spanish-heritage Mallu who has a gaggle : Thomas Varghese

Chennaiite who'd do anything to see that innings of 222 again! : Vishwanathan Astle (ok, really bad)

Phew, thats quite enough :-D


Me said...

lolz..that's quite a fantastic few..any such insights on your name ? :P

Ash said...

worst post EVER! :P

ChUcK said...

Bah! You're just jealous Trisal isn't a common Indian surname!

* sniff, sniff *

Sumi said...

U can add this one - People with unsure dancing skills - Asif Shaikh

Ramesh Srivats said...

Here, take a flower bunch. Awesome.

Atrisa said...

Chucky who's the other Trisal :O

ChUcK said...

@ Atrisa: Sorry... I thought Ash was you :P My very very bad.

@ Ash: Uhmmm :D

niks said...

Very good post :)

Again to add a few:

1) Mr Daaruwaala - One who drinks a lot of beer and predicts on other's life

2) BUSH - Full form was Beat Up Saddam Hussain

Nirmal said...

maaaan... u ve improved way too much since u left college maaaan!!!! this is brilliant.... i ve no words! dude seriously... i think u shud start exploring into writing a book n all... filled with slapstick humour...

ChUcK said...

@ Niks: Haha yes, considered Daaruwala but that was too obvious. The trick is to let the reader think a little also, no? Like Solanki? ;)

@ Nirmal: Thanks for the appreciation, dude. I really mean it. Yes, I've considered writing too, but a book is too huge a jump. Hopefully in a few months, you'll see a few bylines in the online space, but that's still just working out. Have to juggle between work also! Will keep you posted :-)
Thanks so much for reading.

ChUcK said...

@Ramesh: Honoured, Ramesh. You're one of my favourite bloggers. Cheers!

adi said...

This post is just what I needed now, something to lighten up my mood, in a non-mediocre way. Thankyoo :D

S.Arun said...

Ha ha! Nice post, chuckling! :) :D

S.Arun said...

Waise, Chuck and Deepak. Where and how did D become C?! Lol!

Neil Mukherjee said...

MAn this surely is awesome stuff!!! :-D
chuck_gopal - I have found an idol in you.