Okay, so I'll admit it - these are not mine. Got some absolute gems from Cricinfo, in the new Page 2 section. Which basically makes fun of commentators on IPL, with special mention going to Rameez Raja.
Anyway, here are some of my favourites. But for the full list, please do check the above link out. It's brilliant.
"If we have a Super Over then super things can happen."
Ramiz Raja captivates the five-year-olds who form an important part of his audience with some cunning wordplay
"How well he has managed to mitigate this innings in the last few overs."
Ramiz Raja has fun with the English language
"Herschelle Gibbs is an opener, he has to score runs."
Saba Karim has a eureka moment and lets everyone know
"Farveez Maharoof is busy doing nothing."
Ever the diplomat, Ramiz Raja, while interviewing Maharoof, doesn't put too fine a point on the fact that he hasn't played a game in the tournament so far
"Two overs remaining. That's 12 balls, folks."
Alistair Campbell joins the dots for the segment of the audience who thought they were watching the Superbowl
"When you can't succeed with the orthodox, try the unorthodox."
Alistair Campbell stumbles upon an eternal truth of batting, and indeed life itself
"That's a Citi moment of disaster."
Robin Jackman misplaces his script while attempting to describe a dropped catch
"He has managed to clear the deep long-off"
Further proof of how revolutionary the IPL is: Ranjit Fernando invents a new fielding position
"Shades of that triple-hundred from Chennai a few years ago."
Danny Morrison provides a fine illustration of the phrase "jumping the gun" as soon as Virender Sehwag hits his first ball of the innings against Deccan Chargers. Sehwag was dismissed for 20
"That was a serious shot."
Pommie Mbangwa can tell the difference between a lofted drive which means business and other strokes that are just looking for a good time
" I don't think... I don't think... I do think... I do think"
Mark Nicholas makes half a damaging confession as he watches Yusuf Pathan send one to the fence
"He's got to pick up wickets, he's got to be economical"
Laxman Sivaramakrishnan explains, for the benefit of the blind, the ignorant and the bored senseless, just what it is that Anil Kumble needs to do
"ABD made batting look like A - B - C - D."
Mandira Bedi has clearly been working on her scripts
"He DLF-ed it with ease."
Robin Jackman coins new verbs in his eagerness to push some product