Thursday, March 12, 2009


In an alarming decision by marketing managers of major Pizza retail outlets such as Domino's Pizza and Papa John's, which is sure to have Pizza connoiseurs in Ahmedabad reeling and angry, these outlets are all set to shut shop in the city from April onwards.

The decision was made public in a joint press meeting, which lasted only 5 minutes and offered no explanation as to why such a decision was being made. Initially, people believed that this was part of the agenda by the Shiv Sena, Ram Sena and other such Senae, and this led to widespread agitation against such extremist organizations. Ardent blogger and pizza fan Rishabh Shah started an Orkut community called 'The consortium of forward-going, hehe-saying pizza lovers' on Orkut which threatened to send Jalpenos and Mozarella to extremist Pramod Muthalik on World Food Day.

However, this madness was ill-aimed, as Muthalik and his goons were not responsible for this. "We're not responsible for this pizza mess! All we were doing is beating up some girls in Gobichettipalayam because they were wearing an English-sounding brand of saris! I don't even know what a pizza is!" claims Muthalik.

The real reason for the closure of the pizzerias was the departure of noted pizza aficionado Vidyashankar Srinivasan from the MICA campus. "Vids was responsible for 58% of our turnover. Without him, we'd be lucky to break even. ", says marketing manager of Papa John's Ahmedabad and part-time Gujarati poet, George Bernard Shah.

"What da I have a job da I can't stay in Ahmedabad anymore da. Ah-thoo!", remarked Srinivasan when contacted by this publication.

In a related incident, Smokin' Joe's pizza has started all operations in which Tata Teleservices has an office.

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