Saturday, January 17, 2009

THE CRICKET STUMP MARKETING MODEL

[Edit] This 'model' was refined further and was eventually published as a comic on PaGaLGuY.com. This version is much better and logical than the raw one here. Enjoy! http://www.pagalguy.com/2010/11/mba-with-prof-thambee-a-the-cricket-stump-marketing-model/
[/Edit]

This post is dedicated to all MICAns (okay, I'll admit I did that just so that all of you will actually read this) who live, breathe, eat and present models day in and day out.

Any marketing-major BSchooler worth his Kotler will know that life is all about pfaff, models and presentations. It seems that long ago, the so-called Gurus of marketing were terribly inspired by Euclidean geometry so as to continually draw them and to try and make them original pieces of work, added words like 'customer', 'positioning' and 'value'. They sound fancy too. Till the second semester of your MBA course. So much that when you hear the word 'value', you just want to take that handy-dandy pocket electrocution kit and do yourself in. Seriously.

I've seen concentric circles, triangles, layers within triangles, squares, and even triangles in circles! What's next? Three-dimensional dodecahedrons? Rhombii inside hemispheres?

You don't believe me? Take a look at that 4 Ps model, the highly overused, de rigeur for any good marketing presentation. Product, Price, Place, Promotion. By revered marketer, Jerome McCarthy.

Now close your eyes and imagine this scenario, where Jerome was a marketing student at some university, and he had to submit an assignment the next day, based on how to position a new bar of soap (that overabused-by-students-of-marketing piece of FMCG). He of course, has a wild night out with his friends, only to come back and remember that he has his assignment to finish off. His groupmates egg him on to just put together 4 slides (or whatever they used in the 60s. God, how did marketing students survive before Powerpoint?). So he just puts together 'product, price, place, promotion', writes two points each and plonks off to sleep. I mean, any of us would have done something like that, right? We might have added 'target audience' or 'brand idea' instead of one of the Ps. But hell, it stuck. And it became a model, worshipped by marketers who draw insane salaries! See how easy it is to come up with something like this?

Hence, in a moment of inspiration, I too came up with my own model. I proudly call it : The Cricket Stump Model.




The explanation:

- To maintain both market share and profits: company assets, demand and values are imperative.

- If demand remains intact, but company assets are lost: market share will fall, but profits might not.

- If demand falls, despite the values and assets, both market share and profits will fall.

There we go!

21 comments:

Venting Macha said...

You do us proud! :P

ChUcK said...

'us' alluding to? :D

Cow-Herd said...

:) killer model.
Have u shown it to PAT yet?
And why the fuck isnt ur dissertation on this?
Come on dude!

Pratz said...

kewl ....

K said...

Not kidding!

Makes sense!

Remember us in your acknowledgments when u publish it!

:D

prat said...

hahaha makes total sense if u ask me! impressive theory there. approach publishers i say.
if u want we can collaborate ur theory with my 'brand terminology'

Grrrrrrrrrr said...

Totally Killer.. Chacha would abso freak out on this one.. might even add it to the models on his room cupboards!

Grondmaster said...

Calling it a Cricket based marketing model and leaving out the bat and the ball is not done.

The ball can be something that 'attacks' any of the 3 stumps: competition, market troubles, et al - name it something... An external feature...

And the bat is there to protect the main structure from it...

Watsay?

Regards,
Grondmaster

Anil said...

Dayumn!
Did you patent it yet ?

ChUcK said...

@ CowHerd: Because I couldn't do enough litreview ;)

@ Pratz: Would love to. What is the brand terminology?

@ Kaum: Will do :P

@ Gronde: Too lazy!

@ Anil: Awaiting the punch line, saar!

dickhead said...

ridiculous ... if you had to implore us to read it, you might as well have convinced me of it!

Amit said...

Kick ass Stufff...

sreekrishnanv said...

Good one ! ... But who has the balls to knock them out ! :P And what is that Ball named? Ramalinga Raju?

R3d3MpTioN said...

Brilliantly brilliant post... If nothing, this post deserves a place among the pfaffy trophies displayed on the shelves behind the reception desk..!!

Atrisa said...

Must get it coprighted before I use it for marketing class without paying royalty :D

ChUcK said...

@ Rishabh: Hehe ;)

@ Arch: Damn you :P Tell me how CC reacts though!

Atrisa said...

How funny would it be; at the bottom of the ppt it would say Source: Chroniclesofdementia.blogspot.com, Deepak Gopalakrishnan, 2009

vinod said...

Awesome !

Lekshmi said...

* bows *

Dipika said...

I published it on my fb wall, hope that's ok with you. Funny thing! I'm another MBA grad from one of those "premier institutes" and completely identify with your view on how any one of us could've come up with that 4Ps model. Quite simple actually, just one night of drunken happiness, n voila! LOL

Good one :P
Dipika

Deepak Gopalakrishnan said...

@Vinod, Lex: Thank you :)

@Dipika: Of course not! Why should I mind! :D Hope your 'premier institute' enjoys it as much as you do :)