Friday, October 24, 2008

THE LAST STRAW

Friends and fellow cricket lovers will know how much I hate the Australian cricket team. I mean, I love their aggressive play and I love watching Warne and McGrath and Haydos as much as anyone, in full flow, and I truly believed they revolutionized the game from the 90s on (and by game, I mean Test Cricket, not the French Fry version).

Too bad, they seem to be hell bent on undoing everything that they and their predecessors stood for. Of course, it all started with Mr Red Rags Steve Waugh (Aww, now, did I hurt sentiments and all of people who are his loyal fans and all?) and now Ricky Ponting. Now don't get me wrong again. I admire Ricky. He's an incredible batsman and going by current form, I tip him to overtake Sachin's centuries and runs records, as did Lara himself. And I also believe that all this crap about sledging should be left on the field, as the Australians insist they do on so many occasions. This is why I still admire them ol' bowlers.

Of course, then you have Ricky Ponting, who has the balls (pun definitely intended) to claim a grounded catch, to appeal like a maniac (of course, the Indians did that too and got fined in South Africa, but then, we're brown, right, match ref?) and get even Australian papers to condemn the team and have former greats monicker the team 'crybaby's. How apt. Exemplified by that drunken typhoon Andrew Symonds.

But as much as we all love to hate Australia, we just have to love Adam Gilchirst. A favourite with the crowds wherever he goes, an amazing ambassador for the game, played in the true spirit, walked when he knew he was out... Adam Craig Gilchrist was almost an antithesis to the Australian cricket team. Everyone loves Gilly. I mean, there are more than 35000 INDIAN fans on INDIAN fan clubs for Gilly on Orkut. So why, oh why, Adam, did you have to say what you said against Sachin? Bad sportsman because he refused a handshake? It's not like your team is absolved of every crime in history. Surely, refusing a handshake is not as great a crime as forcing a brother to bowl an underarm delivery (and to think they made the guy the coach! Ugh!) or instructing the umpire that catches had been taken (it's another matter that the umpire in question probably had as much brains as dead cactii...).

Like a poster on Orkut said... If being 'selfish' results in 30000 international runs... :P

It's painful to read through comments on that news report that claim Gilly performed a marketing stunt, yet, it was heartwarming to see some more Australia-bashing. This is not a case of wanting to see a Goliath fall. We all love to see an Australia in full flow. Yes, we do! I have tons of videos of the Aussies in my YouTube collection, and was the happiest guy in Malluland when Hayden broke Lara's record. But then, it's the arrogance, the utter lack of respect for opponents, and the sheer mental-effall-disintegration that makes the rest of the world look at Australia like they are popmous, beer-sucking morons. And over the last two years, under the able leadership of Ricky Ponting, Australia have been able to show that. The most hated cricket team in the world. How else do you explain Indians and West Indians crying in joy when South Africa beat you in the greatest one-dayer of all time?

Now with the last hope gone, the Australians well and truly retain their place as our most hated cricket team. We look forward to seeing them lose the post they occupied, which, by the way, was given to them by Allan Border and Mark Taylor.

One thing I love about the Australian team, they always give me something to blog about.

EDIT: A brilliant open letter by Anil Dharker questions Gilchrist on his double standards - on one hand you say play hard and leave it all on the field (abuse them like crazy, and then chill for a beer afterwards). And right after that, rake up issues - like Monkeygate, and now this in his autobiography. And let's not forget, Kumble graciously offered his own hand to the Aussies after the Sydney fiasco. Not a single Australian was ready to shake.

The Australians have been the instigators of the worst acts in cricket in the last decade. Merv Hughes was nothing but an overrated, fat, beer-guzzling slob. Steve Waugh used his 'charity' and other sentimental bull to hide his ruthlessness. Ponting may be a great batsman, but is an out-and-out cheat. McGrath spits on batsmen. Sledging is one thing, asking people who their wives are sleeping with (when news leaked that Graham Thorpe's wife was having an affair) is totally below the belt. Using press conferences for 'mental disintegration'.

Listen, you pieces of shit. Noone likes you or your f**d up team anymore. Yes, thank you for showing us that we can score runs at 4 per over in Test cricket. Had you left it at that, had Warne and McGrath just shut their f**kin' traps and concentrated on bowling, the rest of the world would actually like Australia.

Like a friend said, "You can take an Australian out of Australia, but you can't take Australia out of an Australian." Adam Craig Gilchrist, once considered to be a needle in a haystack, has indeed shown his true colours. I wouldn't have imagined, a week back, that I would be writing a vituperative blogpost about a cricketer who I would not have thought twice before putting him on my world True Sportsmen XI.

Why don't we all just buy the loser's autobiography to make him happy? And not off the sidewalk, please.

11 comments:

Utsav said...

It seems like an utter case of sour grapes, chuck. By your article itself, you seem confused. One, you point out that you like their 'play the game hard' spirit. But on the other hand you quote a similar example and call them arrogant.

You're right though. They play the game hard and to win. And that is all. They do whatever it takes to win and I personally think thats awesome. Wish the Indians could learn a bit.

(The racism part was in bad taste, even though true)

ChUcK said...

Alright, then, let me clarify.

By playing the game hard, I said sledging and all that. And that should be left behind within the boundaries. But that does not mean cheating, claiming dropped catches, and more importantly, instructing the umpire as to what to do!

Arrogance comes from all this, not from playing the game hard. Allan Donald played hard too. So did Wasim Akram and Waqar Younis.

And they DO do whatever it takes to win. Including spitting at opponents (Glenn McGrath), so-called mental disintegration (Steve Waugh and just about anyone else) and basically belittling opponents (Symonds, against Bangladesh).

I don't care if the racism part was in bad tase, but like you said, I was right. There has been an anti-Asia bias for quite a while now. Oh, look, he's got melanin in his skin. He can't be saying the truth, can he? :P

I've been checking Cricinfo all day to see if I could swallow my words and delete this post. Nothing put up there so far seems to suggest that I should.

And this is not a case of sour grapes at all, whatever makes you think so?

Utsav said...

By playing the game hard, I said sledging and all that. And that should be left behind within the boundaries. But that does not mean cheating, claiming dropped catches, and more importantly, instructing the umpire as to what to do!

Everyone does so. Ask Saurav Ganguly

And they DO do whatever it takes to win. Including spitting at opponents (Glenn McGrath), so-called mental disintegration (Steve Waugh and just about anyone else) and basically belittling opponents (Symonds, against Bangladesh).

Admit it that its fun. If I were ever that powerful, I'd do it too.

I don't care if the racism part was in bad tase, but like you said, I was right. There has been an anti-Asia bias for quite a while now. Oh, look, he's got melanin in his skin. He can't be saying the truth, can he? :P

I meant it was a bit out of context

I've been checking Cricinfo all day to see if I could swallow my words and delete this post. Nothing put up there so far seems to suggest that I should.
You Shouldn't

And this is not a case of sour grapes at all, whatever makes you think so?
All the anti Australian bias comes from the fact that they win and ruthlessly too. Hence...

Also, the same reasons why you hate the Australians, I support them for. To each their own.

I was just trying to put in a comment as courtesy :P

--■┼■█▐ Åk§hä¥▐ █▐QΘmä†ö§Ë ƒäñ†ä§¥█▐┼■-- said...

Good Going Chuck dude..
Concise observations!
I myself happen to be a cricket follower, not for the love of the game or for the highly vaunted GK quotient, but for the irony!
gentleman's game...
yeah, right!!

Parul Sharma said...

"You can take an Australian out of Australia, but you can't take Australia out of an Australian."

u stole my comment!!!!

ChUcK said...

Read the full line, sir ;)

Like a friend said, "You can take an Australian out of Australia, but you can't take Australia out of an Australian."

Friend = you :-)

ChUcK said...

@ Utsav:

Everyone does so. Ask Saurav Ganguly

Oh come on - show me one incident where Ganguly instructed the umpire that the catch was out when he was not the fielder himself. Granted, Ganguly was no saint, but he's been terribly unlucky. He just raises his bat to show that he nicked the ball and it was not an LBW. And when that warrants a fine or a ban, who can not be frustrated? Come on. Ponting is a cheat because he was not the fielder, and yet instructed the umpire what to do. Balls to Ponting.

Admit it that its fun. If I were ever that powerful, I'd do it too.
FUN?! I don't want to question your ideas of fun, but still...
If I were that powerful, or even small, yes, I'd probably have it in the back of my mind that certain opponents are to be targeted. But you don't go out and proclaim to the world that the team you're going to take on suck. And don't give me things like 'a batsman should consider he's arrived when the Australians target him in the press conference.' Bullshit. Utter bullshit. I like sledging as much as any fun-loving cricketer, but what the Aussissies do is not sledging.

All the anti Australian bias comes from the fact that they win and ruthlessly too. Hence...
I used to be an Australian fan till around 2004. I used to watch their games and follow their cricket more than India's.

Also, the same reasons why you hate the Australians, I support them for. To each their own.
Sure. Why don't you stick up a poster of Glenn McGrath spitting at Adrian Griffith while you're at it?

I was just trying to put in a comment as courtesy :P
And I'm replying to it because I believe in each and every word of what I wrote.

Utsav said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Utsav said...

Oh come on - show me one incident where Ganguly instructed the umpire that the catch was out when he was not the fielder himself. Granted, Ganguly was no saint, but he's been terribly unlucky. He just raises his bat to show that he nicked the ball and it was not an LBW. And when that warrants a fine or a ban, who can not be frustrated? Come on. Ponting is a cheat because he was not the fielder, and yet instructed the umpire what to do. Balls to Ponting.

I was more referring to this:http://in.rediff.com/cricket/2008/may/02gang.htm

Sure. Why don't you stick up a poster of Glenn McGrath spitting at Adrian Griffith while you're at it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tCjf58Tw5A

And don't give me things like 'a batsman should consider he's arrived when the Australians target him in the press conference.' Bullshit. Utter bullshit.
i'm not going to. But the concept of Chivalry and Gentlemanly was written off the game a long time back. Indians and other nations do it themselves. And please, no crap like they are just keeping up with the Australians.

Grondmaster said...

My my...

Dear Chuck... what's happening to you? I used to like your posts, kept waiting for them... their satire and sarcasm brought a smile during a grey day...

What hast thou done? Where is that ole' PJist that I knew?

Regards,
Grondmaster

ChUcK said...

Once in a while comes across an incident that gets me fired and posting here helps me work off a head of steam - like the Kerala English Abhorrers one long long back.

Check the previous posts... They are still the same ol' Chuck... He's not going anywhere ;)