Thursday, February 15, 2007


Now then. I've been thinking. (Yes, alarm bells-a-ringin') :D

We all say global warming is a huge thing these days. Well, what exactly do the experts say?

Increased CO2 -> Warmer Earth -> Melting of ice caps -> Increased water levels.

And it is the last mentioned in the cycle that causes panic. Indeed, when people in low-lying countries start finding that their floor is slightly dispossessed to behave moist, then you know we have a problem.
I don't think any of the other stages really causes panic - after all, how many people are interested in polar ice caps. How many iciclologists among us, please? Anyone? :D

Well, I have another theory as to why water levels increase... Shhh... Don't tell anyone. Whales are reproducing at a faster rate. Oh yes, much, much faster. It's possible that the intial global warming (all that carbon dioxide crap) made the sea warmer... And hence stimulating the testosterone in male whales (I hope the biology is right :P ). Hence, promiscuous activities of these leviathians eventually ends up producing progeny.

Over a period of time, the whale population expanded so much that enough water got displaced, and movies like Finding Nemo were made. Some rather astute chap with brilliant eyesight surmised that the water level had risen a few mm up from last year.

They eventually toyed with the whale theory, but were unsure about how people in India would accept this - after all, they have to prepare their children for competitive exams where this issue was important, but given the tabooness of sex education in India, decided the whale theory must give way to something more complex. Whence, they cooked up the CO2 stories.

And what about the heat, you ask? Well, every Mallu worth his salt knows that 'whale' means 'sunshine' in Malayalam... So... Er, join the dots :P

So there you are, my friends. The whale theory. Like a friend said, "Archimedes said this years ago. But noone believed him."



Rmax said...


Yo-Yo said...

hahaha!! a thoroughly "fraud mallu" tells us non mallus about heat generation in whales leading to global warming!! :)
Sheesh, chuck, you haven't spared even the whales of your inanities!! :D

intellectual devil said...

this seems to have an itelligent beginning, but gets crappy and boring in the middle....

ChUcK said...

And so did your comment :P

You kind of lost it when you misspelt 'intelligent'.