THAT CRICKET MATCH

It started out seeming like just a normal day in the life of a 4th-year engineering student from a small town in Kerala.

Exactly 6 years ago, to the time of posting this.

A few days earlier, I found out I didn't get into my dream BSchool, and just got over the phase of depression and self-pity. Thankfully, I had friends and a phone with a GPRS connection. That helped, yes.

12 March 2006 came with no indication of what was to come. Those of us who had an interest in cricket knew that a fantastic series was happening over at South Africa, where the undisputed top two teams in world cricket were slugging it out over a five match series.

Each of the first four matches had something memorable. Ntini took 6/22 in a 192-run demolition at Cape Town to help SA go 2-0 up. Then, Australia bounced back, but just barely, winning the next two games by 24 runs and 1 wicket respectively. The stage was set, at the risk of sounding Shastriesque, for a cracker of a last match.

It being a Sunday, me and a friend decided to pop out to town and have a roam-around. It was my last month in college and we decided to pop over to visit some eateries which we hadn't ever been to.

Of course, those were days without Cricinfo access 24*7, so the only way us fleeting cricket fans got to know about things was when friends told us. And that's what happened.

I was halfway through a watermelon juice of questionable aqueous content when a friend SMSed me "Australia scored 434."

I couldn't believe that. That was impossible. Sri Lanka' 398 was untouchable, like Bradman's 99.94. How could a team score over 400 in an ODI? Impossible, I thought.

A quick phone call later told me that the news was indeed, correct. As someone who gets a thrill out of records being broken, I was ecstatic, even though I hated Australia (but secretly admired them). Now, if the score was 350 thereabouts, I would have probably taken the effort to hunt for a TV and watch SA attempt the chase. But at 435, even I was willing to laugh things off.

My friend was not too much of a cricket fan, but the magnitude of what happened wasn't lost on him. He asked me whether it was probable that South Africa might chase that down. I laughed, but for a moment, my mind went back to a legendary domestic English match. "I remember... It was Glamorgan and Sussex or something. One team scored 440+, and the other team almost chased it down... And lost by just 4-5 runs. Wouldn't it be classic if something like that happens here?", I asked.

That match, of course, was this one. It was Surrey, not Glamorgan. And Alistair Brown had scored 268. In a 50-over game. If there was one thing that a knowledge of that match should have told me, it was that anything was possible.

I came back to the hostel putting all the memory of the match behind me. The thought of SA winning didn't really cross my mind, in fact, I was hoping another record would be broken (yes, I'm one of those stat-minded sorts) - that Australia would win by the highest margin in ODI cricket - 300 or so. Which, quite honestly, seemed more probable at the time.

When I got back to my hostel, around 6 PM, boy, oh, boy.

My two sport-crazy roommates were jumping up and down and asking me where the fuchsia I was.
I asked why.
They said Herschelle Gibbs was going crazy, and was looking to score a double century.

Jaw. Dropped.

We didn't have a TV. Nor did we have live internet access. Nor the time to go to a friend's place.
All we had was, in a glorious mix of modern technology and old-school syndication, per-over messages from a friend who stayed in town.

It looked amazing. South Africa looked like they were actually going to win, comfortably. And at one stage, end of over 31 to be precise, South Africa were at 286/3. They needed to go at just (!) 7.8 an over. Gibbs was on an astonishing 163 off 107. Surely, this was history in the making. And when he hit two successive sixes and moved to 175, it surely seemed like a stroll in the park now.

But then, what's life without a little masala, right?

The moment HH Gibbs walked off the field, we knew it would be his finest moment. It's thrilling and sad at the same time. You know he's just done something special, but is very unlikely to better it. It's almost like saying your best moment has passed. 

Not just did Gibbs get out, his dismissal led to a sudden shortage of runs despite Kallis, Boucher and Kemp being at the crease. Fathom this: In a match where the average run rate was close to 9 an over, there was a period of 7 overs where a single boundary wasn't hit. The pressure was right back on SA, and it told.

And we, in the hostel, were on absolute nerves. There were three of us. Just mesmerized, waiting for the next SMS. The RRR crept up to 11. But an unlikely hero stepped up - Johan van der Wath, who clobbered strategic sixes. One must not forget the contribution of Ricky Ponting, who undid all his good batting (scoring one of the most phenomenal hundreds ever) by persisting with Mick Lewis, when Brett Lee had plenty of overs left. Unfathomable. But the Proteas didn't complain - they merrily scored off him. And we all know the ending. Everyone thought SA would easily win it, and then Hall got out just when there was 2 to get and 1 wicket left.

Suddenly, SA could lose! We were pissing in our shorts up in our hostel. The relief when 'Ntini took 1' flashed across our screens came! We screamed! But we knew the job wasn't done yet.

We waited. Waited. For that last SMS to come, which could go either way.

I wasn't as tensed as when my dad called up to tell me my 10th board results.

'SA win'

Delirium. We cried, we did. For a match not involving India. We celebrated SA's victory as if we were residents of Durban or Cape Town.

The next day, hundreds of us thronged to the main hostel where there was a TV and watched the highlights. At the end of Gibbs' innings - and I kid you not - all of us stood up to applaud him. Some fleetingly said, as is wont in such moments - that it was the greatest ODI innings of all time.

6 years later, I find that statement hasn't eroded. It's withstood the test of time and reflection. Herschelle Henry Gibbs indeed, might have played the greatest ODI innings ever.

In the greatest ODI ever.

A lot of people rubbish this match saying it was a flat pitch, there was nothing in it for the bowlers, etc.
Which is true. But why should that take away from the achievement?

Since then, a lot of 400+ scores have been matched. Tell me how many you remember. Exactly.

That match was unforgettable. Just like Edgbaston '99 was. But for some reason, I belong to the camp that says Joburg 06. Was it because I was biased that SA won? Was it because records tumbled (and I was a fan of seeing records break)?

No, not for me.


I prefer to look at it this way. One team crossed the limits of what everyone thought a cricket team did. And the other team, instead of getting bogged down, pushed themselves beyond the new limits, and created a new mark.

Like Jacques Kallis told his team during the lunch break, "Why're you all so depressed? It was a 450 wicket - they fell 16 runs short."

What a day. What a match.

Even today, just reading the commentary of that game gives me goosebumps.

MY TOP 20 JOE SATRIANI SONGS

There are two ways to enjoy Satch. One is to technically analyse everything he does and use terms like chromatic watchemekallitzscale. The other is to just shut up and enjoy his guitar playing. Sure, he's probably the most technically sound guitarist around - a Rahul Dravid of axemen, if you will - but no one has made guitar instrumental more accessible. Without plunging to the massism of a Chetan Bhagat, but without invoking the entry barrier of a Nietzsche. If you will. Heck, I don't even know which of his songs utilizes a 7-string - I just don't care. The end result sounds bloody brilliant.

There's not much to explain about these songs, really, them being instrumentals. But Joe names his songs so perfectly. So when you listen to Surfing With The Alien, you actually picture an extraterrestrial riding the waves (or browsing the internet together?). Joe is at his best when he's not showing off (there are some interesting but imminently shelvable tracks, there are others that are just meant to show off his prowess - such as Midnight, which is tap-happy), and he plays with incredible emotion.

Satch has never really had a 'down' stage in his career. There was a phase where he experimented with vocals (a decent experiment in my opinion, but yielded nothing remarkable), but like all great bands, had a purple patch - from his 2nd to 5th albums, which was critically and popularly acclaimed.

Satriani has a lot of very melodic, sweet passages (make that SWEEEEEEET!), which I like to call Joegasms. There are plenty, particularly in his slower songs, and I'll point them out as we go along.

Here's my 20.

20. Asik Veysel: One of his tributes to the blind Turkish minstrel of the same name. Also with some lovely basswork by Matt Bissonette. It's probably just a little tad too long at 7:42, which is rare, because Satch generally has a lovely sense of knowing when to stop playing.

19. War: There's a lot of frenetic doom in this piece, and images of warriors atop horses come to mind. Off one of his most acclaimed albums, The Extremist. A lot of Satch's work has been used elsewhere, and this is an example - Disney used this to promote Power Rangers at their theme parks.

18. Rubina: From his first album, a lovely slow piece dedicated to his wife. Surefire cig-lighter concert moment.

17. Premonition: Off his last album, this a lovely example of how he manages to sound emotive at high tempos. Joegasm moment from 0:48 to 0:57 (of course, you'll realise that all Joegasms sound better when they're played fully in song, rather than just fast forwarding to the good bits).

16. Made Of Tears: Mid-tempo masterpiece, and he makes it clear here how vital the backing guitar is as he launches off into one of his speed-to-feel solos.

15. Surfing With The Alien: Great use of effects, very surfy, indeed. Lots of his technical skills on show here. Emotion-seekers stay away. Contrary to popular opinion, it's not really about the Silver Surfer, it just so happened that the alien on the cover of the album resembled him. Of course, in an instrumental, what's supposed to be 'about' is more subjective than usual...

14. The Traveler: This one slowly grows on you, particularly the portion from 1:20. 

13. Cryin': With a name like that, you'd expect him to make his guitar cry in a soft setting. That's pretty much what happens. It's also strangely uplifting in a way, almost like how you feel better after a good bawl in your room.

12. The Forgotten (Part 2): Forget part 1. This is a total masterpiece. It's got blazing stuff, slow stuff, everything. Just listen.

11. Satch Boogie: Another bag of pretty fast tricks. Probably the closest thing to a headbanger you'll get on a Satch album. 

10. Starry Night: Allmusic called this an attempt to recreate another masterpiece (#2 on this list). I agree. But that song by itself is so good that any derivative is bound to be decent, at worst.

09. The Crush Of Love: Taken off a mini-album, and an explosive opening. Wah lovers rejoice. It's easy to see why Hammett was so obsessed with the effect.

08. Crushing Day: With a nice crunchy riff, the song begins and explodes in a smorgasbord of riffs, shreds and pretty much everything that could be done on a guitar. Old school, fast Satch here. Surfing much like the album says.

07. Memories: Joegasm from 0:22 to 0:32. Lovely. See if you can hear this song without some image of childhood flashing up. You wonder how he does that, this oh-so-perfect naming of instrumentals.

06. Secret Prayer: I love the buildup on this one. And the tone he uses is so smooth. Bassist Stu Hamm, often overshadowed by Satch, shines here if you pay attention (or have super earphones. Haha!). Particularly  the dual outro.

Right, the big boys now.

05. Andalusia: This was a tribute to Veysel, as well. Starts off nice and folksily, before going off in a typical Joe fashion. But the real reason I love this song is because it has probably the best basswork on a Satriani song, so Matt Bissonette, take a bow!

04. Crystal Planet: The first time I heard this, I jumped out of my seat in a bus in Chennai. That intro! And this time, it's Stu Hamm blowing minds away on bass.

03. Why: Beats me why more people don't know this. What a brilliant piece. Joegasm at 0:25 to 0:41. Yes, he starts off his solo with a Joegasm. It's hard to think why anyone would hate this song. Like a comment on that YouTube video asks, "Why did 5 deaf people open this video?". The video itself seems to have created a mini-meme of sorts in the comments. Satriani just toys with his guitar and produces magic, much like VVS Laxman at his best.

02. Always With Me, Always With You: The song everyone knows. And for good reason. A sappy ballad, even by instrumental standards, but the cheesiest part is the name. This is a great intro for anyone trying to initiate someone else into instrumental rock or just rock in general. Plenty of harmonics, speed and tapping here, makes it a technical masterpiece as well.

Hold on, if that's #2, what's #1?

01. Lights of Heaven: What's that, you ask? Just a rippin' brilliant track off Crystal Planet. Yes, I know it doesn't warrant a place in SongMeanings' list, but then that's the fun of discovering a relatively obscure gem. What's not to love? The intro, the buildup, BRILLIANT basswork by Hamm, and that Joegasm from 0:53 to... Well, when he stops playing. 

Gotta love that man, Satch. 

[JUGAAD] CARTOONIST'S LIGHTBOX

In an attempt to shore up my sorry cartooning skills and upgrade from using nothing more than paper, markers and a scanner (and of course, MS Powerpoint), I did a Google search for cartoonist tools to see what I was missing out on.

Among them was a lightbox. A device on which you place your paper and draw, which makes sketching a lot easier (think layers from Photoshop if you're of that clan). In essence, it's nothing more than a box with light coming out of it.

Cost: $199.99. You've got to be freakin' kidding me.

Which is when I decided to do a little rummaging, pay the electrical store a quick visit and come up with my own solution.

Materials needed: Plastic paper box, 1 small CFL, bulb holder and wire to a plug.

Place CFL in box like suchly.

Close box like thusly. Try not to snip the wire, that will render things a little useless.

Voila! Sketch heaven!

Total cost: INR 525. #winning.

This man, the king of jugaad, would be proud.

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TENDULKAR FINDS 100TH 100 ON CRICINFO PROFILE, CONFUSED

Adelaide: The entire nation of India is ecstatic, confused, delirious and upset all at the same time, as master blaster, little genius, Bradman incarnate (etc etc) Sachin Tendulkar was found to have a 100th century on his Cricinfo profile.


"I have absolutely no idea what happened... I just woke up this morning to check my Cricinfo profile to see how many runs I had... And was shocked to see that I had 100 international centuries. I was shocked.", revealed the little master to CoD's roving cricket journalist.

Tendulkar's Cricinfo profile which clearly shows 100 international centuries

This comes on the heel of the news of one Bengali professor finding 490 billion rupees in his SBI bank account, and no one knows where the money came from.

"I was initially confused... But then I realised that Cricinfo is the authority on Cricket and couldn't have possibly made a mistake, so I guess I have 100 international centuries now.", said the little master, looking up to the skies for a brief moment before adjusting his abdomen pad and asking for the sightscreen to be moved.


Also, the master blaster seems to have broken Brian Lara's world records of 400* in a Test match and 501* in a First Class match, as his new highest score was put up as 502*.


"To be honest, I don't remember scoring that. I once remember I was playing EA Cricket 2010 on Virat's XBox with him and I had made Dinesh Mongia score 433* against the MCC XI, but I quite honestly don't remember this...", said the little genius.


"Anyway, I'm relieved... It feels great to have scored that 100th century (whether I did it or not)", said the little wizard before going on and scoring a quickfire double century in a game against a local XI. "I know can play with freedom". Australia at Adelaide had better be scared. Very scared.


The news has been greeted with contrasting views by India's cricket-crazy population and the media.
The average fan is ecstatic, finally getting the bugbear of waiting for SRT to score his 100th. "FINALLY! Now I can stop doing poojas every morning", screamed out one cricket fan from Varanasi. Tweeted another one from Delhi, "I can finally stop reorganizing furniture in my room before every Sachin innings."


The media, however, does not share the happiness. Every publication in the country was gearing up for the huge event with a Sachin Special issue (Every publication apart from The Hindu, that is, who would had templatized 'keen contest on the cards' for the Adelaide test). "Stark raving crazy this is. Not only do we seem like fools for having missed this alleged 100th 100, but what do I do with the 5 page Sachin Ton-dulkar special that I've been keeping for the last one year?!", bellowed an editor from the Times of India.


How the 100th 100 came about itself is a mystery. Some cynics (mostly Australian) assume that a hacker got in, but ESPNCricinfo's head of security assured us that no-one can break into the servers. The overall assumption is that Sachin just played an innings which Cricinfo forgot to update or some centuries in unofficial innings (such as  the Diana Memorial Match at Lord's) suddenly was conferred official status.


"In any case, he can now stop worrying about the 100th 100 and do what he does best - scoring centuries", said Rameez Raja, underlying his ability to sound absurd and logical at the same time.

THE RELIGIOUS DIVIDE

Throughout history, each paradigm of development has left us with a gulf between the haves and have-nots. Today, we see an India which downloads torrents and plays Angry Birds on their smartphones like there's no tomorrow, and another whose local bank branch runs manually. This is the digital divide.

Similarly, it's easy to extrapolate backwards and see how Messr. Gutenberg might have created a class of readers and another bunch who couldn't afford a papyrus. Go back a few more years, and there might have been one class of cavemen who didn't know jack about clubs while the rest, no doubt, met around their local bar, The Brown Mastadon, talking about the latest advancements in club technology and how the aerodynamics and contours of the new MammothBasher 9000 were so much better.

Anyhow...

Following a couple of surgeries after an accident in mid July, I've been shuttled off to Bahrain to spend time recuperating at the nice apartment my parents stay in. Usually, of course, that's not too bad a thing. Who doesn't like spending time with his parents, having some maa ka khana rather than the oi teri maa ki that Mumbai roadsides are likely to feed you? And that too in a luxurious quiet place with no mosquitoes, faltering ceilings and generally space to move around (my mom, staying in my Mumbai room said that she felt like a stranded passenger sleeping on a railway platform)?

Sadly, all this comes at a teeny price. My parents are religious. Oh, not the normal sort of 'religious'. You know when they say 'Jonty Rhodes religiously practices his fielding' and 'Neils Bohr religiously studied Physics'? THAT sort of 'religious' religious.

Of course, most of my childhood was spent in subservience - never a good thing if you're a kid who just wants to be left alone to his own amusements. Hence followed a series of things my parents thought I should be indoctrinated in - the best of which was a weekly prayer class which pretty much ruined the only morning on which most kids would get some sleep. Car radio stations were shunned for hours and hours of drones and monotonic renditions of bhajans filled my daily sojourn to and from school. Vacations were things I used to dread, because that invariably meant 'temple-seeing-trip-in-Kerala-accompanied-by-meeting-hordes-of-strange-people-who-bitch-about-each-other'. Birthdays, those things of presents and cakes and friends, unfortunately fell during vacation months and instead of Black Forest I got a vadyaar and a fire.

But heck, I made peace with all this. I loved my parents and was willing to take all this in my stride, because, hey, what did I know?

Then of course, I discovered the world. And rebellion began. When I say 'rebellion', I don't mean actively protesting against meaningless pujas with picket signs and telling my extended family what a waste of time and money all this was, but just a dip in the subservience (a term you will encounter a couple of paragraphs up). So while the annual pilgrimage was being mooted, I went from my its-my-fate silence to its-still-my-fate-but-heck 'Mehhh'.

Woohoo! I had rebelled!

Anyway, there is this large gulf between me and my parents, easily the most religious people I know - I call this the religious divide. They of the annual Sabarimala planners, I of the giver of a rodent's posterior. They of the early morning japam, I of the Google Reader.

It's fun sometimes imagining scenarios like the ones below, if the tables were turned a little.

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Remember that extra commandment that George Carlin had? That wonly.

Ah well, what's life without a little disagreement, right?